If your marriage is ending and you have children, the entire situation can be a sad and hard one. It can be even more stressful for you if you want custody of your children. Using the four suggestions that follow can prepare you for the difficult time ahead so that you can remain level-headed and a good parent to your children.
Spend Time with a Marriage Counselor
Many people think there's not a reason to go to a marriage counselor if their spouse won't, but even solo trips to an expert can be helpful. Ending your marriage will have a big impact on you and your kids; it should not to be done without a great deal of thought and care.
A marriage counselor can help you dissect the issues going on in your marriage so that you are better aware of ways you may need to change. They can give you techniques that can improve communication. There is even a small chance that a counselor might help you see that there is still hope for your marriage.
Come Up with a Budget for Your New Life
When you have children and want primary custody, you have to think about how you'll support them. That can be a challenge when you're married, but it can be even more of a challenge as a divorced person. Sit down and seriously think about what kind of income you will need to support the children. You may not know whether you will collect or pay alimony, but having a general idea of what you'll need can give you a starting point when you finally sit down with a lawyer and negotiate with you spouse.
Keep a Diary of Your Time with the Kids
You may find it helpful to track the purchases you make for the children and the time you take to drive them to school or sit with them at the doctor's office. By logging all the time you spend with the kids, you will be able to make a strong case that you ought to have primary custody because you are already in that role.
Be Polite to Your Spouse
Whatever your feelings toward your spouse, your children are likely to love them as much as they love you. When you lash out at your spouse or badmouth them to your children, that can be stressful for them, as they should not feel as if they need to choose between the two people who mean the most to them.
Do your best to remain polite to your spouse. If you need to vent about them to your adult friends and family members, ensure that the children are not present. Keeping a calm head may also help you in custody negotiations.
Going through the end of a marriage can put a strain on you and your children, but putting the ideas in this article to use may make it somewhat easier. Seek out a reputable divorce attorney like Nichols, Speidel, & Nichols who can provide even more guidance during this time.
Share17 May 2016
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